But then I thought about how I had actually spent the hours of my day. Here's a run down of what I did yesterday:
Morning Routine: Got myself up and ready for the day, spent some time alone with Jesus (while nursing, so not completely alone), then got the kids dressed and ready for the day
Homeschooling: Taught grade 1 and preschool. Subjects included Bible, Math, French, Science, Music and Language Arts. Also took the kids for a nature walk.
Potty Training: Cleaned up after 5 accident and rewarded 7 successes.
Nursing: Nourished my baby with at least 7 feedings of milk from my body.
Diaper changes: probably about 10
Meal perpetration and cleanup times 3
Laundry: Several loads put through washer and dryer, while potty training and chore training
Bedtime Routine: Bathed, directed changes into pajamas and teeth brushing, group story time, tucked in and kissed good night
Wifely Duties: Found time to give my husband attention after the kids went to bed
Looking at it like that I had a pretty busy day, so why did I feel so unproductive at the end of the day? Because my house was a mess? Really? I spent the day taking care of my family. That's a big job. And it's more important than a spotless house.
I don't think I'm alone in this. We moms are way too hard on ourselves. We're judging our productivity by the wrong things. Our families are so much more important than our houses. And yet we go to bed discouraged night after night because we can't live up to our own expectations of a perfectly kept home. What we do with these people will have eternal significance, what we do for our house will only last a few hours if we're lucky.
But maybe I'm still missing the point. What if I hadn't done all the things on my list above? What if I had had a truly unproductive day? What if I had sat in front of the TV all day, ordered take-out and yelled at the kids? That's certainly not how I want to spend most of my days, but the truth is God would look at me the same. My value to Him doesn't change no matter how I spend my time. He loves me regardless. So tonight when I go to bed I'm going to look at that laundry basked and smile, because it's okay. His love for me will never change and THAT is what really matters.
